How I miss your ranting [entries|friends|calendar] CHELSEA [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[07 Jun 2005|07:05pm] ATTENTION: ALL If you read this you will be interested to know that I am finally going through with my decision to return to my old LJ name maryloulovesyou. The change will take place immediately. Many of you still have that name on your friends list so it should not be an issue. New friends and people that had deleted it, add it now otherwise you will forget all about me. I apologize for my ADD when it comes to LJ names. 58___conundrums December '04-June '05 ALSO: Those of you that talk to me via AIM, I will be returning to 'so i like you' rather than 'oh cliche'. Those who wish to talk to me can add that to the ol' BL. <3 love

[06 Jun 2005|06:12pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Eagle and Arrow ] The hole in my jeans in getting bigger. I've been eating too much lately. The two previous statements don't have anything to do with one another. List of things I want: -new digital camera -used telephoto lens -new glasses -reddish-orange corduroys -video camera I have three days of finals ahead of me. I wish I was ready for at least one of those days. My mom says "You just better pray." I'm really sick of a lot of things but I've been surprisingly happy and optimistic. I hope that it is for good reason. I like playing house with the kindergarteners; especially when they pretend to have 10 babies on the play-structure each...kids these days. My new favorite is little Katy. I swear on my life that she's 5 year old Joan Cusack. IDENTICAL. I smell like you and I don't know why. ♥ 1 |love

[31 May 2005|08:37pm] I hate when I go to bed crying and wake up with a cold that lasts at least four days after. A kindergartener told me that I look like a 5th grader and it's been almost three days with absolutely no word. My countdown is slowly disappearing. Nine days and it will be done. Nine days closer to freedom. 2 |love

[24 May 2005|04:09pm] [ mood | annoyed ] I got a haircut. This is what it looks like. I cried when I got home because I thought I looked like a boy, but I washed and did it myself a minute ago and I feel slightly better. Still, I've had better. This week is dragging by. I just want it to end. I'm developing my dad's old negatives from when he was in high school. I'm making them wallet size and I'm going to make a collage thing out of them for my bedroom. It's starting out just fantastically. I want a new screen name. I'll probably go back to my old Livejournal name shortly also. Give me ideas for the screen name though. No, seriously. Do it. I'm hungry and I miss my soap opera. 6 |love

[20 May 2005|01:42pm] A strange amount of faith has been restored in me. Maybe it's just the weather, but it doesn't matter. I feel okay and it doesn't scare me at all. I have to work tonight and Mr. S said that he might come visit me and we can eat at Subway together. Courtney is visiting as well, but she's bringing Robby. I wish he didn't hate me. He made me laugh. I want to take a road trip. I just want to get in my car and drive and not stop until I'm out of gas. I get to hang out with Shane tomorrow and I don't think that I have to work on Sunday so I hope one of my three other friends [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<angie,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] A strange amount of faith has been restored in me. Maybe it's just the weather, but it doesn't matter. I feel okay and it doesn't scare me at all. I have to work tonight and Mr. S said that he might come visit me and we can eat at Subway together. Courtney is visiting as well, but she's bringing Robby. I wish he didn't hate me. He made me laugh. I want to take a road trip. I just want to get in my car and drive and not stop until I'm out of gas. I get to hang out with Shane tomorrow and I don't think that I have to work on Sunday so I hope one of my three other friends <Angie, Court or Sean> are free to hang out. And my mom just came home. There goes my good mood. She's been here 2 minutes and she's already insulted me. 2 |love

[13 May 2005|08:07pm] I'm taking a break from this. I can't do it anymore. 2 |love

And when she's pressed she will undress and then she's boxing clever [12 May 2005|04:31am] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | Bigmouth Strikes Again ] I shouldn't wash my hair in the sink anymore. It doesn't wake me up like I need it to. I can't find one of my favorite t-shirts and I don't match at all. I was 2 minutes too late to get a chocolate milk this morning. I should continue with my book. Or start a new one all together. I wish money was unneccessary. I don't like jobs. Everyone should write me an email (blue_like_nevermind@yahoo.com) and tell me or send me something nice. I want to go to the zoo again and see good animals. My pictures are horribly boring from my last trip. I've completely lost track of American Idol. I don't care who wins now that Constantine is gone. 2 |love

[09 May 2005|04:24pm] I haven't stopped listening to Eagle and Arrow since I got back from the show Saturday. I don't like it when Sean's not at school during second hour because then there's no reason to leave Mr. Stormont's class. Erica is never around anymore either and that makes me depressed during photography. It doesn't seem like anyone's around much anymore. I'm less than impressed with my ACT score. It was a 22. If only I had the will to raise it. It's silly for me to update this so much, when there's really nothing to say at all. 2 |love

[08 May 2005|08:17pm] Things need to be figured out. I need to go to a therapist. Summer is just over a month away. As is my sanity. I just want to be happy. And relaxed. And in love. I wish my knack for making things worse would take a break for a little while. 2 |love

[04 May 2005|07:23pm] Things are getting progressively worse. Not even my soap opera cheered me up today. I look grosser than my chipped nail polish. I guess that's what happens when you cry for 4 hours. I just want to hop a train and leave all of you behind. And burn every copy of "Ice, Ice Baby" ever made, just because I don't like it. I wish a new layout or hair style would make things feel okay. I'm sick of everyone's opinions. I wish I'd stop asking for them. 2 |love

[03 May 2005|04:44pm] Things are like they always are. I wish I had more to say than that. You make me feel good and I like that. I wore my glasses today and I didn't hate it. And I'm getting pizza tonight. I also think I'll catch up on my soap opera watching. I've fallen very, very behind. I found a brown studded belt. Angie wants me to name it. Hanging out with Angie for the first time in what seems like months on Friday Saturday. [edit:/] maybe Friday too though? I also need to hang out with both Courtney and Sean. They are hard to make plans with though. I blame my parentals. I'd like mix cds and tapes, seriously. I've worn Sean's out and The Shins is going to. I feel like I have a total of about 4 friends. Eh. 4 |love

[30 Apr 2005|03:49pm] I'm going crazy. I hate all of you. 2 |love

[28 Apr 2005|08:01pm] There was a big gust of wind after school today while I was walking through the parking lot. My skirt thought it'd be funny to go right up. No one was around though. Thank goodness. The kindergarteners are learning about garbage and recycling in class this week. We sing songs like "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" and what not. They did a project where we were cutting paper and I asked the teacher where I should put the scraps as I looked for the missing recycling bin. She hardly looked up at me as she said "Just throw it out." Talk about defeating the purpose... I'm getting a raise at work. I feel happy. I hope it lasts. love

"Don't ask for his opinion; they ought to drown him in holy waters." [25 Apr 2005|07:03pm] I realized that when there is snow on the ground it is harder for me to breathe. It makes things worse. I wish that I had a friend named Becky so when we were walking around the mall or something I could be all "Oh my god it's him! BECKY, OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S EMINEM!" out of the blue and it'd still make sense because her name is Becky and I'm from Michigan so it's kinda possible. I went to help at the Elementary school today in the kindergarten class. I had to read to them before the buses came. It was horrifying. But I did it. I beat my social anxiety and they all just smiled at me. I'm going back tomorrow. We sing together and hold hands as we walk through the hallway. I miss kindergarbage. I've got a plan, I've got a plan. Top 5 songs by The Shins: 1. New Slang 2. Mine's not a high horse 3. Young Pilgrims 4. Saint Simon 5. Caring is Creepy 4 |love

[23 Apr 2005|11:14am] (screams at the top of my lungs) 3 |love

[19 Apr 2005|03:55pm] I don't have anything to say. I'm tired of everything. This is what makes me happy. ( (+10) ) 7 |love

[15 Apr 2005|03:40pm] Blue eyes Holding back the tears Holding back the pain Baby’s got blue eyes And she’s alone again OKAY. I am grounded again. So, for anyone keeping track: I am no longer allowed to go to Chicago, nor am I allowed to go anywhere else. She's making me take summer school Algebra II because I've gotten D's on tests and quizzes, even though my report card grades have never been anything lower than a B. She has hid my car keys and she has written down the mileage on my car. This morning my dad made me apologize when I tell her to shut up after she bitches at me for not doing the dishes after I did 3 loads of laundry for her. I've been screaming for 2 days straight. I told my dad I was going to kill myself. He told me to calm down and do my homework. I wish she'd stop telling me I ruin the family. I wish everyone would stop pretending like this is normal. Top 5 Songs of the last two days: 1. Marvin Gaye-Let's Get it on 2. Stevie Wonder-I believe(when I fall in love) 3. E.L.O.-Livin' Thing 4. E.L.O.-Do Ya 5. Whatever song #4 is on the CD Sean made me. 4 |love

[13 Apr 2005|05:48am] I decided the following things: -It will be okay if I say it will. -I am going to start trying to win money by calling radio stations. -I am going to talk to Dr. Johnson about getting me into State. -I will start referring to Dr. Johnson as "Dr. J" only. -'Landslide' is one of my all time favorite songs and The Smashing Pumpkins made the only good cover. -I miss Melissa a lot. -I'm going to start making top 5 lists because of High Fidelity. -I just adore John Cusack. -I think I need to wear my glasses more because I have to get unusually close to things to read them. 3 |love

[10 Apr 2005|06:04pm] If you make me a mix tape I'll show you my boobs. 5 |love

[10 Apr 2005|10:42am] Took the ACT. Probably going to have to take it again. Went to Shane's show. Probably going to post some pictures. I feel good today. ( +10 ) p.s. I'm kissin' my straight-edgedness goodbye come summer and I'm takin' you with me. 7 |love

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