How I miss your ranting

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 00:11:39 GMT

ATTENTION: ALL
If you read this you will be interested to know that I am finally going through with my decision to return to my old LJ name maryloulovesyou. The change will take place immediately. Many of you still have that name on your friends list so it should not be an issue. New friends and people that had deleted it, add it now otherwise you will forget all about me. I apologize for my ADD when it comes to LJ names.

58___conundrums
December '04-June '05

ALSO:
Those of you that talk to me via AIM, I will be returning to 'so i like you' rather than 'oh cliche'. Those who wish to talk to me can add that to the ol' BL. <3

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 23:23:49 GMT

The hole in my jeans in getting bigger.
I've been eating too much lately.
The two previous statements don't have
anything to do with one another.

List of things I want:
-new digital camera
-used telephoto lens
-new glasses
-reddish-orange corduroys
-video camera

I have three days of finals ahead of me. I
wish I was ready for at least one of those
days. My mom says "You just better pray."

I'm really sick of a lot of things but I've
been surprisingly happy and optimistic. I
hope that it is for good reason.

I like playing house with the kindergarteners;
especially when they pretend to have 10 babies
on the play-structure each...kids these days.
My new favorite is little Katy. I swear on my
life that she's 5 year old Joan Cusack. IDENTICAL.

I smell like you and I don't know why. ♥

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 01:45:06 GMT

I hate when I go to bed crying and wake up with
a cold that lasts at least four days after.
A kindergartener told me that I look like a 5th grader
and it's been almost three days with absolutely no word.
My countdown is slowly disappearing.
Nine days and it will be done.
Nine days closer to freedom.

Tue, 24 May 2005 21:15:53 GMT

I got a haircut.
This is what it looks like.

I cried when I got home because
I thought I looked like a boy,
but I washed and did it myself
a minute ago and I feel slightly
better. Still, I've had better.

This week is dragging by.
I just want it to end.

I'm developing my dad's old
negatives from when he was in
high school. I'm making them
wallet size and I'm going to
make a collage thing out of them
for my bedroom. It's starting
out just fantastically.

I want a new screen name. I'll
probably go back to my old
Livejournal name shortly also.
Give me ideas for the screen name
though. No, seriously. Do it.

I'm hungry and I miss my soap opera.

Fri, 20 May 2005 18:48:54 GMT

A strange amount of faith has been restored in me.
Maybe it's just the weather, but it doesn't matter.
I feel okay and it doesn't scare me at all.

I have to work tonight and Mr. S said that he might
come visit me and we can eat at Subway together.
Courtney is visiting as well, but she's bringing Robby.
I wish he didn't hate me. He made me laugh.

I want to take a road trip. I just want to get in my
car and drive and not stop until I'm out of gas.

I get to hang out with Shane tomorrow and I don't think
that I have to work on Sunday so I hope one of my three
other friends

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Sat, 14 May 2005 01:08:45 GMT

I'm taking a break from this.
I can't do it anymore.

And when she's pressed she will undress and then she's boxing clever

Thu, 12 May 2005 12:03:58 GMT

I shouldn't wash my hair in the sink anymore.
It doesn't wake me up like I need it to.
I can't find one of my favorite t-shirts and I don't match at all.
I was 2 minutes too late to get a chocolate milk this morning.
I should continue with my book. Or start a new one all together.
I wish money was unneccessary. I don't like jobs.
Everyone should write me an email (blue_like_nevermind@yahoo.com)
and tell me or send me something nice.
I want to go to the zoo again and see good animals.
My pictures are horribly boring from my last trip.
I've completely lost track of American Idol.
I don't care who wins now that Constantine is gone.

Mon, 09 May 2005 21:28:51 GMT

I haven't stopped listening to Eagle and
Arrow since I got back from the show Saturday.
I don't like it when Sean's not at school
during second hour because then there's
no reason to leave Mr. Stormont's class.
Erica is never around anymore either
and that makes me depressed during photography.
It doesn't seem like anyone's around much anymore.
I'm less than impressed with my ACT score.
It was a 22. If only I had the will to raise it.
It's silly for me to update this so much,
when there's really nothing to say at all.

Mon, 09 May 2005 01:38:00 GMT

Things need to be figured out.
I need to go to a therapist.
Summer is just over a month away.
As is my sanity.
I just want to be happy.
And relaxed.
And in love.
I wish my knack for making things worse
would take a break for a little while.

Thu, 05 May 2005 00:29:28 GMT

Things are getting progressively worse.
Not even my soap opera cheered me up today.
I look grosser than my chipped nail polish.
I guess that's what happens when you cry for 4 hours.
I just want to hop a train and leave all of you behind.
And burn every copy of "Ice, Ice Baby" ever made,
just because I don't like it.
I wish a new layout or hair style would make things feel okay.
I'm sick of everyone's opinions. I wish I'd stop asking for them.

Tue, 03 May 2005 21:48:21 GMT

Things are like they always are.
I wish I had more to say than that.
You make me feel good and I like that.
I wore my glasses today and I didn't hate it.
And I'm getting pizza tonight.
I also think I'll catch up on my soap opera watching.
I've fallen very, very behind.
I found a brown studded belt. Angie wants me to name it.
Hanging out with Angie for the first time in what seems like months on ~~Friday~~ Saturday.
[edit:/] maybe Friday too though?
I also need to hang out with both Courtney and Sean.
They are hard to make plans with though.
I blame my parentals.
I'd like mix cds and tapes, seriously.
I've worn Sean's out and The Shins is going to.
I feel like I have a total of about 4 friends.
Eh.

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 20:49:18 GMT

I'm going crazy.
I hate all of you.

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 01:38:27 GMT

There was a big gust of wind after school today
while I was walking through the parking lot.
My skirt thought it'd be funny to go right up.
No one was around though. Thank goodness.

The kindergarteners are learning about garbage
and recycling in class this week. We sing songs
like "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" and what not.
They did a project where we were cutting paper
and I asked the teacher where I should put the
scraps as I looked for the missing recycling bin.
She hardly looked up at me as she said "Just throw it out."
Talk about defeating the purpose...

I'm getting a raise at work.

I feel happy.
I hope it lasts.

"Don't ask for his opinion; they ought to drown him in holy waters."

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 00:21:59 GMT

I realized that when there is snow on the ground
it is harder for me to breathe. It makes things worse.

I wish that I had a friend named Becky so when we were
walking around the mall or something I could be all "Oh
my god it's him! BECKY, OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S EMINEM!"
out of the blue and it'd still make sense because her
name is Becky and I'm from Michigan so it's kinda possible.

I went to help at the Elementary school today in the
kindergarten class. I had to read to them before the
buses came. It was horrifying. But I did it. I beat
my social anxiety and they all just smiled at me. I'm
going back tomorrow. We sing together and hold hands
as we walk through the hallway. I miss kindergarbage.

I've got a plan, I've got a plan.

Top 5 songs by The Shins:
1. New Slang
2. Mine's not a high horse
3. Young Pilgrims
4. Saint Simon
5. Caring is Creepy

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 16:29:18 GMT

(screams at the top of my lungs)

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 21:02:36 GMT

I don't have anything to say.
I'm tired of everything.

This is what makes me happy.

Some are edited using photoshop. Everything is straight out of the dark room.

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 21:36:13 GMT

Blue eyes
Holding back the tears
Holding back the pain
Baby’s got blue eyes
And she’s alone again

OKAY. I am grounded again.
So, for anyone keeping track:
I am no longer allowed to go to Chicago,
nor am I allowed to go anywhere else.
She's making me take summer school
Algebra II because I've gotten D's on
tests and quizzes, even though my report
card grades have never been anything lower
than a B. She has hid my car keys and
she has written down the mileage on
my car. This morning my dad made me
apologize when I tell her to shut up
after she bitches at me for not doing
the dishes after I did 3 loads of
laundry for her.

I've been screaming for 2 days straight.
I told my dad I was going to kill myself.
He told me to calm down and do my homework.
I wish she'd stop telling me I ruin the family.
I wish everyone would stop pretending like this is normal.

Top 5 Songs of the last two days:
1. Marvin Gaye-Let's Get it on
2. Stevie Wonder-I believe(when I fall in love)
3. E.L.O.-Livin' Thing
4. E.L.O.-Do Ya
5. Whatever song #4 is on the CD Sean made me.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 10:52:13 GMT

I decided the following things:

-It will be okay if I say it will.
-I am going to start trying to win money by calling radio stations.
-I am going to talk to Dr. Johnson about getting me into State.
-I will start referring to Dr. Johnson as "Dr. J" only.
-'Landslide' is one of my all time favorite songs and The Smashing Pumpkins made the only good cover.
-I miss Melissa a lot.
-I'm going to start making top 5 lists because of High Fidelity.
-I just adore John Cusack.
-I think I need to wear my glasses more because I have to get unusually close to things to read them.

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 23:05:07 GMT

If you make me a mix tape I'll show you my boobs.

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 15:42:13 GMT

Took the ACT.
Probably going to have to take it again.
Went to Shane's show.
Probably going to post some pictures.
I feel good today.

Angellllaaaaa.

Shane and I were looking particularly 1994.

Shane's growing a beard!

My god Nelly was in my car!

You know, I'm just going to let you decide what she was doing and why.

Why do I have so many pictures of her?

Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane...

Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh...

Eagle&Arrow yayy. I think that was right before Shane broke a string.

Damn it must feel good to be a gansta. and cute o'l Robby hiding in the corner.

p.s. I'm kissin' my straight-edgedness goodbye come summer and I'm takin' you with me.

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 21:12:14 GMT

I wore pigtails today and I liked them.

Chicago= May 29th.
A countdown will soon be started.
Those will be a lovely 3 days.

I keep changing my icon and background color.
I think I've finally come up with a pair I like.
And I added an image to my info.

I can't wait for the first thunderstorm.

I've got it all planned out.
It's like some kind of picture of perfection.

ACT & Shane's show on Saturday.
You should all go.
To the show, not to the ACT.

One year. Just one more fucking year.

I know it's none of my business, but you have to eat. Your appetite is appalling.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 23:14:29 GMT

I bought a pink and black polka dot dress today.
It was $6 dollars but it makes me feel like a million bucks.
And it makes me want to go on a date, too.
Only I'll wear it with combat boots rather than heels.

The Sugar Cubes are my new favorite band.
They will brighten up your day, guaranteed.

I feel content right now; as content as possible, anyway.

Time is going by quickly. Someday that might depress me.
Scare me, even. But right now I need it to go quickly.
I need time is fly by so things can be how I planned.
I need time is fly by so things can be as they're meant to.

Shane says I'm anemic. But once again, I'm avoiding the doctor.

Spring is my new favorite season.

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 01:48:21 GMT

It's funny how much I can psych myself out.
Today I listened to Spice Girls with the windows down.
I'm in pain because I got sunburned from tanning.
Inappropriate crushes are the pits.
I think I miss my old journal, maryloulovesyou
Be prepared for me to return to it.
Comment if you think I should.

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 00:37:59 GMT

Once again;
New icon, layout and info.
Why? Sheer boredom.

I hate holidays. They're so dull.
I rented I Heart Huckabees last night.
It was good until the DVD started to
skip incessantly an hour into it.
I went back and the woman in
front of me had the last copy.
Stupid fucking bad luck sonofabitch.

My brother is singing the Burger King
"Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" song
along with the commercial. It must
run in the family.

I think I'm picking Shane up on
Tuesday so we'll probably hang out.
Maybe we will go to Border's finally.
Even if I already have 3 books to read.

Someone make me something, damnit.
I couldn't be more bored.

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 14:57:27 GMT

It's so nice out and I love it.
I hope Spring Break goes wonderfully.
I've already hung out with Angie twice
and I'm hanging out with Courtney tonight.
How delightful.

I think today at work I will buy the t-shirt
that says "I'll trade you my boyfriend for a BEER"
The fact that I don't drink and that I don't have a
boyfriend just add to the humor of it really in my opinion.